Ladyfriend Thursday: Caitlin Moran

We haven't done a Ladyfriend day in quite awhile! I know they usually would fall on Wednesdays, but I like to mix it up, because I make the rules (I can totally pull off stern and disciplined, right? Thought so).  This Thursday brings us a lady after my own heart, some even call her the British Tina Fey.

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Caitlin Moran is a well known critic and columnist in Britain and I recently fell in love with her. Too much? Didn't think so. She has two books of essays, the above How To Be A Woman, and Moranthology. I sped through both in a matter of days. This fall, she's coming out with her first novel, How To Build A Girl, which I preordered as soon as I could. Look, I just love super strong, funny women who don't take any shit, alright? Even better that she's a broad I feel like I could get a whiskey with.

Caitlin Moran takes the idea of what it is to be a feminist and turns it on it's head. One of her better known quotes, is one of my all time favorites:

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I think you can see why. Especially at a time when our cultural climate is so divisive and women are treated as if they're nothing more than an object, we need women like her more than ever. I will always preach the writings and words of women who fight for other women. Women who can stand up and go, "Look guys, this is some BULLSHIT. Some shit to the bull" (80 points if you get that reference).

Every time I get on social media, women are tearing other women down because of whatever they choose not to like about them (their hair, their makeup, their cat sweaters). Look, we don't all have to join hands and sing Kumbaya, but taking your vicious thoughts to a public platform only reflects poorly on you, not the woman you're calling out. We don't all have to like each other, but we're in this together, ladies. Women rule the damn world. Women support each other. Let's all pour ourselves a glass of wine and toast to our intelligent, hilarious, beautiful selves.

Check out Caitlin Moran, you won't be sorry.

Ladyfriends forever! (That's how I sign all yearbooks?).

Feeling fine at 29

As many of you know, Saturday was my 29th birthday. I entered the last year of my 20's in a much different place than I thought I would have 5 or 10 years ago. I thought, absolutely, no question, I would at least be married by now. Perhaps with a kid. But, whose expectations are those really? Mine? Or society's? Am I somehow less of a woman because I haven't settled down and procreated by now? The answer, quite simply, is no.

There are still days when I get upset because I come home to an empty house, no one there to spoon with or tell about my bad day. But then I think, I get to come home, put on sweats, drink a glass of wine and DO WHAT I WANT. You have to look at both sides of the coin. Would I like to be married? Share my life with someone? Absolutely. No questions about it. But, will I do that until I found the person who makes me feel like I can't get through my day without them? Nope. Nyet. Nah. Hell to the no. At 29 years old, I cannot tell you how many people I've gone to school with that are divorced. In their late 20's. Divorced is never a word I want used to describe myself. I know that's a far reach, a lofty expectation. But, I have been surrounded by strong marriages my entire life and I won't settle for anything less.

I have entered the last year of an up and down decade with the people I want by my side, the love, the laughter, the warmth that I need to survive. That is all that matters to me. The people that have come and gone over this last decade, I wish you well and hope for good things for you, but you weren't supposed to last forever on my journey, as I wasn't on yours.

Hope you all have had a great start to your week. Those leaves, they are a-changin'!

Another Year Older....

Today is one of my favorite days of the year. The older you get, I know your birthday isn't supposed to really be as big of a deal, but for me, I've always loved it. And I hope I never stop loving it. It brings me such happiness and I almost feel 7 years old again. It's nice to feel that way when bills and work and life sometimes make you feel shitty.

Today was wonderful. The weather was BEAUTIFUL, I spent the day with my mama, shopping for books, getting Jimmy John's and a Pumpkin Spice Latte and enjoying Edwardsville's new annual International Food Festival in the library park. A low key day for entering the last year of my 20's.

  

Yesterday was the real celebration, spending the day at the Grafton wineries with some of my favorite women. It was nice to relax and just be. Not worry about anything at all. I wish I could say I'm going into 29 with some hard won wisdom. And 28 taught me a lot. All I do know is that I'm heading into the last year of my 20's surrounded with a lot of love and laughter and that's all we can really ask for, isn't it?

No funny sign off this time around, just a heartfelt thank you to all who took time out of their day to send wishes via text, Facebook, phone calls, Snapchat, or other forms of social media. You are all the cat's pajamas and I'm lucky my life is filled with people like you.

BeYOUtiful

Two days in a row, I'm back! :) While cruising the Internet today (that's a thing kids say, right?), I came across a quote that I fell in love with.

How wonderful is that? How thought provoking. It makes you think just how harshly you are judged on a daily basis, even if you're not aware of it. I'll admit, I'm guilty of thinking "What a terrible coat/sweater/feather boa" that person is wearing. But, to them it may hold some sentimental significance. To them, it might be the piece of clothing that makes them feel badass and ready to take on the world. Who am I to say that your clothing is terrible? Who am I to judge you for what makes you feel great about yourself? Unless you're in a chain mail dress. Than dude, I can't get on board. That train has left the station.

I've always struggled with being a person whose weight runs on the smaller side. But, I've never once felt judged by the people that matter, the people whose opinions I really give a damn about. And I've never once had a man tell me anything negative. Because, that shit would get him kicked to the damn curb. I've learned to curb those thoughts that I have when I walk by someone whose outfit isn't of my personal taste and instead choose to focus on something I like about them (those shoes are fantastic, your eyes are beautiful, I love your smile). So, the next time you're ready to judge someone for their outer appearance, turn that negative thought into something positive. You'll be glad you did :)

Also, I love what you're wearing right now. Get it, girl. (Or, dude). GET IT.

Happy Best Month of the Year!

I know, I know. Let's forget how terrible I am at this and move on, alright? It's been an interesting month, getting my body adjusted to my new medication and allowing myself to realize it's okay to ask for help if you need it. In light of Robin Williams' tragic death earlier last month, I'm becoming more of an advocate for better mental healthcare and taking care of yourself. Anxiety is something I live with, deal with, but it's not who I am. And it's not who you are either. You are a loved and beautiful human being with so much to offer the world. Remember that.

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Repeat the above words to yourself whenever you're feeling like there's not much good around, because I promise you there is. Just put your big kid pants on and look for it.

Anywho, it's now September! Can you believe it? And, in my humble opinion, the best month of the year. Though, I am a bit partial :) It's the last year of my 20's and I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around that. I'm not scared of it, it's just surreal. Which I guess facing a new decade always is. Doesn't it feel like we should all still be 16? I mean, lots of things about your late 20's are GREAT: drinking wine in sweatpants, eating what you want when you want it, not having to go out to clubs anymore (not that I ever did, but you're picking up what I'm putting down), becoming more comfortable and confident in your own skin. It's just an odd thing to face. Good, but odd.

I'll try to be so much better about this now that I'm feeling more myself again. Hoping all of you are having a wonderful Labor Day weekend and a great start to a new month!

Honesty.

Hi! Remember me? Let's be friends again, mmmk? And I'm going to get us back on track by being SUPER honest with you. Seriously, truth bombs will be dropped all over the place.

I've always been a fairly anxious person. If fairly means incredibly. Since I was a kid, anxiety has cropped up in a myriad of different ways. It was always something that I thought would lessen with age. Not really how that works. In fact, it's only gotten worse with age. My anxiety has prevented me from doing things with friends, family, all kinds of things. And unless you've been there, you don't really understand it. There's so many different kinds of anxiety. It seemed that mine was mostly social. And within the last few months, that anxiety has reached heights I didn't think possible. Because you see, it's not just anxiety that I struggle with, there's bits of depression in there too.

I've always been so ashamed to admit that I would struggle with depression, because I thought admitting that showed weakness. I thought it showed that I wasn't strong, that I couldn't handle what life thought to throw my way. Up until very recently, I kept sweeping my feelings under the rug, telling myself there's nothing wrong, nothing to worry about. Than I had a terrible anxiety/panic attack (whatever you want to call it) a few weeks ago, which was my sign that things needed to change. I was sobbing uncontrollably, I felt out of control and not myself. There was always a small part of me that thought I should probably be taking medication to regulate my anxiety and to get it under control, but I never listened. Because again, admitting that would be admitting there was something wrong with me. And who wants to acknowledge their faults? But you know what? Realizing that you want to better yourself and take care of yourself is not a fault. It's a priority. Your physical, mental and emotional health are of the utmost importance. Like I always say, YOU DO YOU. Your health should not be placed on the back burner because you're embarrassed/ashamed, what have you. By putting yourself first, you're not only indicating that you care enough to give the most important person (yourself, if you didn't pick up on that) the best life possible, but that you care enough about the people in your life to give them the best you possible.

Today, I went and got myself a prescription for Paxil. I'm not going to hide behind it, I will own the hell out of it. There's nothing to be ashamed of. If you feel like something is a bit off, don't brush it aside. Don't ignore it. Listen to your gut. It won't steer you wrong, I promise.

Travel Tuesdays: A Bit of A Shakeup

Happy Tuesday, you beautiful unicorns. We're now halfway through the week! Jesus, it's nice to say that on a Tuesday. :) Normally, Tuesdays are Travel Tuesdays, but I wanted to shake it up a bit this week. We'll still be talking about travel (and next week, we'll get back to actual, physical locations), but today I wanted to delve a bit into traveling through life (I'm so deep and profound, I know).

I think I got my quarter life crisis a little late. It's hitting at an age when most people I know are already happily settled (whether in jobs, with families, what have you). For me, I always thought by the time I reached 28, I'd be married with at least one kid. No kids to speak of, and I'm fairly sure I'm not married (Vegas 4 years ago was a blur). In all honesty, I don't think I'm where I'm supposed to be. Physically, mentally, et al. I don't think I'm meant for small town Illinois. I don't think I'm meant to be a paralegal forever. The dreams I have for myself reach far and wide. Right now, I'm just traveling through life unaware of what I want to be when I grow up. I know with my deep love of reading and books, that publishing is a field that really speaks to me. And where are you going to find publishing companies? Big cities. I've always felt like more of a city girl than a country gal. The country has never done much for me. I love being able to go out and explore. Find restaurants, museums, little holes in the wall, bookstores that I can make my own.

It's becoming increasingly more difficult for me to keep telling myself I'm happy where I am. Because though I have a wonderful family and fantastic friends, my soul just doesn't feel right. And you have to do what makes your soul happy. Your life should be a journey that makes you happy and fulfills you. And while I'm very happy and fulfilled in terms of the people I surround myself with, I know there's more out there calling for me. I just need to go find it.

Tell me, are you traveling through your life the way you thought you would be 10 years ago?