Putting On My Big Girl Pants

I had a whole paragraph written out on "Oh, woe is me, can't find a job, let's be a Debbie Downer." But, what does that accomplish, really? Does it sucketh mightily? Uh, yes. Yes it does. But, hopefully this is just a small bump in the road. I'm a firm believer that if you have everything handed to you, the reward isn't as sweet. Now I know that the struggle will hopefully reap the benefits. #thestruggleisreal, ya'll (I have a side job as a Britney Spears impersonator).

It does open you up to so many possibilities and options, considering work and career paths I would never have dreamed of. And honestly, I don't need to make a ton of money. I would so much rather be doing something I absolutely looooove and being able to pay my bills. That's all I need. Money for bills and the occasional vacation. Because, honestly? I would be a horrible rich person. Just THE WORST. There's a reality show for you. You're welcome, networks!

While I do admit that trying to be upbeat about this all the time just isn't plausible (there's been many crying nights where I wish I could cuddle up to someone and bitch and cry it out), I do feel a weird sense of something good. It really allows you to step outside of yourself and see how you would handle all of life's ridiculous BS that it throws. Some days are better than others. And honestly, I'm not stuck in a dead end job that I hate. I'm opening myself up to art museums and hospitals and so many other avenues.

But, above all else, I've realized, when I feel like I can't go through this another day, that guess what? I can. Because, the below quote is something I'm going to tattoo on my forehead (pardon the language).

Ladies, even if you’re not feeling like it today, you are a fucking warrior princess who’s hella beautiful and totally kickass. Slay babies slay, you got this.

(Source: capturingcompassion, via pink-pineapple-dann)

Let A Girl Live Her Life

This weekend was incredibly needed. A girlfriend of mine from EIU came down, and it was so nice to spend the weekend being a tourist in my own town. Though our plans to see Trainwreck kind of derailed (BOOM! Nailed it!), because it seemed half of Edwardsville was lined up at the movie theater, the rest of the weekend was fantastic. We even spent last night hanging out with my parents. :) 

Today was spent beefing up the security and privacy on my Facebook page, and seemingly finding out that people think I'm a huge lush! Look, I understand that I joke about wine quite a bit, because these last few months have been rough. But, I don't have my head constantly under the nozzle of Franzia in my fridge. And to insinuate that you think that's all I do, just doesn't sit well with me. Also, of course everything you read on social media is true and really happened. No one falsifies or embellishes on there at all. Clearly, I tend to internalize, and don't speak up until everything comes to a head, but Jesus -- if all you think I am is the bottom of a wine glass, than clearly, we don't need to be fixtures in each others' lives. Bye, Felicia (I cannot pull that off, why do I even try?). 

I don't know why this bothers(ed) me so much, but it has. I know I shouldn't let the opinions of those who I don't have a really close friendship with to begin with bother me, but look, I'm also the type of gal who freaks out when her very set routine gets disrupted  -- THAT'S JUST WHO I AM AS A HUMAN. Let a girl live her life, man. Or honestly, I need to sing the song of my people, and tell myself not to let the bastards get me down. 

What I preach to others, I need to remember to preach to myself as well. Life is short -- eat the cake, drink the wine, don't be fake and it will all be fine (seriously, who do I speak to at Hallmark? My pun and rhyme game is ON FIRE). Happy Sunday Funday!

A "Could I Write A Book" Test Post....

I'm not even going to apologize. I'll just say you are all beautiful and that color looks divine on you.

I go back and forth every day about whether to post, whether I have anything of substance to say. But, I have to say, these last few months, I've actually had quite a few people tell me they think I should write a book. It's always been something that's been in the back of my mind. I mean, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think I'm pretty decently funny. Well, I make myself laugh. To have people that I haven't seen in years, inbox me on Facebook to tell me they think I'm hilarious? I'm sorry -- but my 14 year old self is basically doing the happiest of dances.

These last few months, being jobless, have been ROUGH (What a segue, huh? I have totally got this book thing nailed!). So, I do what I always do when I get nervous, make uncomfortable jokes while downing a cheap box of wine. GLASS. I MEANT GLASS. Which, while not only therapeutic, has also given me a foundation for a book (which will also have 87 chapters on "DON'T EVER DATE A DUDE WHO WEARS THE HOOD OF HIS HOODIE ON HIS HEAD THE ENTIRE DINNER." Look, it's just a very important lesson). I'll probably also go into the importance of having a song that really lights your fire. For example, mine is the 1981 Carl Carlton classic "She's A Bad Mama Jama."

We all just need to realize life just doesn't mess around sometimes. I'd even go so far as to say it's a bitch, but look, I just don't need that karma. Also, when did "Do you have a boyfriend?" become "Are you married?" I'm sorry ---- WHAT? My idea of cooking is putting a bag of popcorn in the microwave, what makes you think I'm ready to devote THE REST OF MY LIFE to the love and caring of someone? I cannot even make that kind of devotion to a People magazine subscription at this current time of my life. Please check yourself before you wreck yourself. And can we stop on the dating website suggestions? I really don't want to end up in the back of some dude's trunk. Which, I'm sure is not as real of a worry as I'm making it, but I have seen Dateline, you guys. I HAVE SEEN IT.

I just wish more people understood that at 29, you can be single and happy. Look, I fixed a kitchen cabinet today ALL BY MYSELF. Which, honestly...I'm going to be dining out on that for a long time. Your life goals don't have to look like everyone else's. I just want to be able to have money in the bank to pay my bills and surround myself with people who don't use their menus as coasters. Which may just be the title of this book, "People Who Use Their Menus as Coasters ARE THE WORST: A Sequel to Catcher In The Rye." Nailed it.

Weekend Catch Up

Hope all of you beauties had a wonderful long weekend! I'm so glad that the weather decided to hold out and time could be spent soaking up some much needed sun. My weekend was relatively tame, as I started it off by heading to Office Max to buy a planner (don't threaten me with a good time!). Office supplies are the best, and I don't trust people who don't think so.

Saturday, Ma and I headed to walk an errand or two, and then stopped to walk through Bonifest. I ended up heading back over there that night to hang out with some girlfriends, and ran into probably 786 people. I think that's always the case at town events. Sunday, I headed to a fish fry in Holiday Shores with some friends and had such a great time -- trust me to be the one to hightail it straight to the puppy and the baby.

Yesterday ended up being my first lake day of the year! Worried that it was going to rain all day, I had plans to curl up on the couch with Netflix. So glad the sun was out, and I headed to the Shores again for some Marina sitting and boat riding. Perfect way to cap off the weekend!

I absolutely LOVE getting to see friends that I don't see very often. Who doesn't? Back into the swing of things this week -- be strong, beauties, it's only a 4 day week! :)

Back to School, Back to School....

As of Monday, it's official --- this girl is heading to grad school! I am so excited and absolutely delighted that life seems to be getting itself on track. I've always been someone who has enjoyed school and being in an academic environment, and I cannot wait to jump back in. Tara Huntley, M.P.A has THE BEST ring to it, don't you think?

Also, if anyone is interested, some girlfriends of mine and I do an online book club via a group on Facebook, Beyond the Bindings. This month's selection is The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. We would love to have you join us! 

Stay warm and cozy today, beauties. Where did May go? Sheesh. Though honestly, I can't pretend I don't absolutely LOVE this weather. Cold and rainy days are my favorite days. 

Weekend Update

Happy Monday, beauties! I have to start out by saying, I'm pretty sure I just mastered the top knot. Which, I'm sure no one cares about but me, but I AM DELIGHTED. Every time I threw my hair up, I would end up looking like I'd just come out of a 4 day bender. Today though, I conquered it! So, you know, celebrate amongst yourselves.

I hope everyone has had wonderful weekends and are starting to get out and enjoy the beauuuutiful weather before it turns into the depths of hell. Mine was a quiet one, hung out with Mummy and did some laundry....I live wildly. I may have also climbed a tree, just because I feel like channeling your inner 7 year old is important sometimes.

I also did something rare for me this weekend, I started 2 books at once (look, I already stated above I live wildly. What did you think I was going to say---I robbed a bank?). I've never been one to read more than one book at a time, as I like to focus all my energy into the world I'm reading about. But, Mummy and I stopped by the library this weekend and I can't walk out of any book selling or renting establishment empty handed. There was a biography on Billie Holiday that I couldn't walk away from, so that has been added to my pile along with finishing up The Royal We. That's just my "currently reading" pile. My TBR (or To Be Read) pile looks like a small Barnes & Noble. I'd say I'm easily at 50, and those are just the books I actually own. 

What are the books currently sitting in your TBR pile? I'm anxious to know if I need to add yet another....or 67. 

Please Still Love Me....

Alright, there really is no excuse this time. This time, I got lazy. Every time I would sit down to write something, I just couldn't get anything to flow. I couldn't articulate anything of any real substance, so I figured, "what's the point?" A week became a month, and I almost wanted to give up. What was there to write about anymore? I don't want to post just for the sake of posting. I want my blog to be about things I care about and that make me happy.

So, if it's been a few days and I haven't posted, please feel free to kick my booty into gear. There is so much fantastic stuff out there that needs to be talked about and discussed and dissected, and I can't wait to get into it. Until then, let's all remember my favorite mantra to get myself through a difficult day.

Happy Friday, beauties.