Skinny Chicks Have Feelings Too.

It's interesting what people think is okay to say to people they've never met before. I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but I'm a thin lady. And until about a year ago, that bothered the hell out of me. All kinds of comments were and have been said to me: "Hey, why don't you eat a burger!" and other hilarious and witty remarks like that are so clearly so clever that I've never heard them before!

                                                            (Before the 2013 Color Run)

What people don't seem to understand is that when you tear someone down because of their smaller size, you do the same damage as you do when you tear someone down because of their bigger size. The same feelings get hurt. I have torn myself apart over random comments people have said, in the guise of "being funny." No, you're not being funny. You're telling yourself that to make yourself feel better, so you push to the side the fact that you're being a dick. You think I don't know that I'm thin? Do you think it's news to me? No, it's not. And it has taken me YEARS to be comfortable with myself. It even would get to the point where I would be afraid to wear a dress or skirt or even shorts, because people would make the most ludicrous comments.

I realize I have skinny chicken legs, and small tits. I realize that my body may not be for everyone. But, it's MY BODY. I love it, it has served me well, and I've never once had a complaint when it mattered. So, suck it. It has taken quite a long time for me to gain the confidence I do have, and I'm not about to let it be usurped by anybody.

Also, let's talk about the phrase "Real Women Have Curves," for a second. LET'S TALK ABOUT IT. Because, Jesus Howard Christ. I call bullshit. Just total, absolute BULLSHIT. Are you trying to tell me that because I tend to run a bit more up and down, that I'm not a real woman? Uh. My vagina would tell you otherwise, I believe. The cramps I get 4 days out of the month would tell you otherwise. Stop putting down segments of the female population. We are all in this together. Women need to stand together and stop tearing each other down with bogus sentiments like this. I am a real woman, damn it. I'm strong, I'm confident, and I'm not about to be torn down by insecure people who feel that they have something to prove.

I always preach owning the hell out of who you are, because it is so damn important. Especially in this age of filtered Instagram shots, cyber bullying and PhotoShop. Be you. Be proud to be in the skin you're in, the body you're in. You only get one.

                                                          (Owning the hell out my skinny legs)

Staying Audrey in a Kardashian World

Ever since I can remember, I have been in awe of Audrey Hepburn; her movies, the way she carried herself, her work with UNICEF. To me, she has always been the epitome of class, elegance and glamour. I even have a large portrait of her in my den, to remind me that class always takes you farther.

In the way I talk and especially in the way I dress, I tend to be a bit more pared down. The influence of the Kardashian family in popular culture, to me anyways, is just sad. Look, I'm not about to tear another woman down for expressing herself in the way that she sees fit, or for the life that she chooses to lead, but I will express my discomfort. The only skin I tend to show is some shoulder, when the sweater I'm wearing is off the shoulder, or some leg when I wear a dress or skirt. I'm not really into the whole "look at me, my tits are enormous!" way of dressing that seems to have permeated society. 

The Kardashians are EVERYWHERE, and I understand that it's hard to get away from. However, I've always been under the impression that tact and class is what's going to take you farther in life, not looking like a walking billboard for "I Took Scissors To All My Clothes, Inc." (Ok, sorry. That was a little rude). 

The point I'm really trying to make here, is that young girls especially have so many options as to role models. They are lucky enough to be growing up in the age of Malala, of M'one, of Emma, of Amy, Tina and Beyonce. Women who work hard, women who fight tirelessly on behalf of women everywhere, women who know the hard work and struggles it takes to defy sexist attitudes. Women, who I think, have stayed Audrey in a Kardashian world. They let their ideas, their words, speak for themselves. It's not just about dressing like Audrey, it's carrying yourself like a lady. Like a woman. Look, I'm all about chugging the wine and letting the f -bombs fly because something has angered me, but I'm also about carrying yourself to the level of respect that you want to be shown to you. 

Standing up for causes and fights that you believe in, is such an integral part of society and us, as humans. I just want to convey that our voices can be heard, our ideas known, without turning into some fantasy of what real women look like. Again, I don't want to tear any woman down, because that defeats the purpose of what I, myself, believe in. We, as women, need to stand together. The Kardashians clearly have a formula that works for them. It just doesn't happen to work for me, personally. 

So yes, I'll continue to throw on a sweater and skirt when I run errands, because sometimes it's little things like that, that make me feel better. That make me identify with my femininity and allow me to carry on the Hepburnian tradition. 

Alone Doesn't Mean Lonely

As a single 29 year old, the question of my relationship status comes up far more than one would like. And at this stage of the game, it's not "Do you have a boyfriend?" anymore. It's become, "are you married? Do you have a husband?" WHAAAAATTTT? At what point in time, did the question start to hold a bit more weight? Sweet Jesus. Let a girl breathe. I used to be able to laugh the questions off with a smile and sarcastic comment, and I still do most of the time. However, there is a small part of me that thinks "Why aren't I married?" Then I just feed the girl in me that's asking that question some wine, and it goes away. Because what good does it really do to focus on things that are out of your control? I would absolutely love to be married, don't get me wrong. I have grown up surrounded by strong marriages my entire life and want nothing more than to feel that same love and support.

(Credit: That One Rule)

But, I'm not going to get married for the sake of being married. And honestly, being alone is what works for me right now. Losing my job and kind of getting out of my comfort zone has made a part of me say "HOLY SHIT. What curveballs will life throw me next?" I need to know that Tara can take care of Tara. That, God forbid, if I were to marry and that not pan out, that I know how to take care of myself (though not in the kitchen. I know where the wine is and that's about it). 

And also, I have incredibly high standards. Ones I will NOT apologize for. I've dated men that just don't challenge me, that don't seem to care about me the way that I care about me. Because that's ultimately what matters. Me caring about me. I need to know that I'm worth it. That I'm a damn fine catch. And it has taken me YEAAAARS to learn that. I still am! I'm an intelligent, college educated, hilariously funny, witty, adorable human being (I may be selling myself a little hard there). And I deserve someone that will still be there in the morning when they see the monstrosity that my hair becomes overnight. Someone that will understand that some things scare the shit out of me and I judge myself for that. Someone that knows no, you cannot have any of my shrimp when I order it at a restaurant --GET YOUR OWN, BUCKO. 

And until that man walks into my life, I'm quite content, thank you very much. I am surrounded by wonderful people, and he will only enhance that, not make it better. He will only add to the greatness that I already consider my life to be. 

Instead of asking a woman in her late 20's why she isn't married (because clearly, her life has to be defined by a man), ask her what she does for a living, what she does in her spare time, what books are on her nightstand; define her by how she defines herself. 

Dial M For Manners

At what point in time did manners become obsolete? As someone who takes great pride in the way I was brought up and having manners, I find it incredibly disheartening that the idea of courtesy has seemingly gone by the wayside. Not to say it's gone entirely, but Jesus. A simple "please, thank you, or excuse me" goes very far. I wish more people realized that.

Credit: (Pinterest)

I've been on dates where the man has not taken the HOOD OF HIS HOODIE OFF OF HIS HEAD (yes, I think that warrants all capital letters). That's not just showing me a blatant disrespect, that's making you like an uneducated buffoon. Some tips: On a date, make it a priority to tell the other person how nice they look (goes both ways, Sister Christian), hold the door open, pull out her chair, DON'T USE YOUR MENU AS A COASTER (Jesus H. Christ, were you raised in a barn?), and engage in conversation that's not one sided. It may turn out you have nothing in common and therefore not much to talk about, but try to refrain from jokes that won't get you a second date.

I realize that not everyone was raised the same way, that's what makes us all different and the delightful people we are! But, you would think common sense would take over at some point. And look, I'm not a mother (to my knowledge), but when your child is saying "Get me that, Mom. Give it to me, Mom. Now." with no utterance of "please" or "thank you," just know that my heart dies a little. It's unfathomable to me how parents give their kids whatever they want, give them phones at 7 years old. Instead of being your kids' parent, many parents are more interested in being their kids' friend, which I'm sorry, causes a generation of entitled dicks. Your kids aren't going to hate you 10 years from now because you didn't buy them that toy. Do yourself and the rest of society a favor and teach your children respect from the get go. 

And look, kids will be kids. Not everything falls to the parents. You can't expect 5 year olds to be perfect little angels all the time. But, you can give them the necessary tools to start them in the right direction.

How far do you expect to get in life if you treat everyone with a rude and cold demeanor? How far do you expect to get by saying "Gimme gimme gimme," instead of "Hey, let's talk this out." Courtesy, to me anyways, is of the utmost importance. "Oh, you're running late for work? Sure, cut ahead of me in line." Courtesy isn't throwing your middle finger up because someone won't let you into traffic (which look, I may be guilty of. MAYBE). Well, I really only throw it up when someone cuts me off. I'm trying to work on my road rage, alright?

Work hard, be a good person, realize a sense of entitlement gets you nowhere, and add more pleases and thank yous to your day. We're all human, we all fuck up, we all have days where we want to give the world the middle finger, but if we exude that kindness to our fellow humans, that kindness will come back tenfold. Promise.

Kindness and Honesty

Today's post is brought to you by the letter 'K.' ;) Sorry for the lapse in posting. I don't have an excuse. Just laziness, I suppose.

I've always considered myself a fairly nice person. Kind and with a tendency to enjoy making people laugh. I think that still rings true (at least I hope it does. JUST LET ME HAVE THIS). And within the last few years, I've learned how to let kindness and honesty co-exist. Not to say I'm not an honest person, but being honest with others about what I really feel. I always would temper my own feelings for the benefit of others, which does absolutely no good. How do you succeed and grow as a person by letting others walk all over you? Sure, it does increase the chance of people getting upset with you and people not agreeing with you; however, I'm doing myself and incredible dissatisfaction.

                                                           Credit: (Pinterest)

I won't apologize for being honest with others and most importantly, myself. What's the damn point? Will I apologize for perhaps being a bit more blunt than I need to be? Sure. Absolutely. But at the end of the day, I know who and what is important to me and that's all I need. Not every person you come across in life is supposed to stay. Hitting 30 in 11 months has allowed me to look at my life as a whole and decide, "Ok. What needs to change? Who isn't serving your life in a positive way?" And I've done what I needed to do about it. Sure, being jobless at 29, when most people my age are established in their careers and have families, is SCARY AS SHIT. But, you know what? It's not a competition. I'm not in a race with everyone. I have absolute faith that everything will work out as it should and the life I want for myself is up ahead (just with a few more obstacles than I figured).

                                                          Credit: (Pinterest)

Also, the above is something I need tattooed on my forehead. Channel your inner DARE student and just say no!

Taking a Look at the 'Basic' White Girl

Look. I'm gonna be honest with you. Pumpkin spice lattes are DELICIOUS. The first time I see advertisements for them, I get so excited, because it marks the arrival of my favorite season. Does that mean I'm a 'basic' white girl? I'll own it. What's wrong with loving pumpkin flavored anything? What's wrong with loving the hell out of something? Also, how come this term only comes out in the fall?

Buzzfeed presented a list, cleverly titled 25 Things All Basic White Girls Do During The Fall. Obviously, Buzzfeed is quite the reputable source for information. If the information you're looking for is random lists on food shaped like celebrities. The bulk of that list is something I know I do. But, honestly, who are you to make me feel bad about it? So, I like taking photos of the changing leaves. HOW DARE I? Maybe I do like my house to smell like a damn pumpkin patch in the autumn months because IT MAKES ME HAPPY.

Yep, that's a photo of my backyard after the heavy rain the other day, because the sun coming through the trees was DELIGHTFUL. Own the hell out of whoever you are. Stop letting sites like BuzzFeed make you feel bad because you love the hell out of some fall. If that makes me "basic," who really cares?

                                           (Me, a month ago, feeding a craving. I was parked at home.)

Also, what is the term 'basic,' really trying to accomplish? Is it just an amalgamation of every white girl? (Yeah, amalgamation--try that on for size, jerks!). It's interesting that this term only has any real traction come fall. The other 9 or 10 months out of the year, it doesn't exist. And how come there are never any 'basic white guy' posts? With frat guys taking pictures of their Keystone Lights and keggers? Because you know that shit exists.

Is it because pictures are put on Instagram or put on other social media platforms that girls get called out? Social media defines this generation. It's how most communication happens, let's not sugarcoat it. Yes, a lot of social media is filled with pictures of Pumpkin Spice Lattes and chunky sweaters and yoga pants. But social media is also used for good, for self-expression, for getting our voices out there and heard. You do you, guys and gals. YOU DO YOU. And the only thing basic about you, is how basically awesome you are.

Bookworm Thursday: My Ultimate Reading List

What a perfect snuggly day! Sometimes we need a good rainy day every once in a while. Perfect for drinking cider, reading, writing and Netflix.

As the voracious reader I am, I get a lot of people asking me what books I recommend. Because there's about 5,765 that I am in love with, I figure I'd try and narrow it down to my ultimate top five (with some bonus ones thrown in).

First on my list is the classic of all classics and my absolute favorite, Little Women. Written by Louisa May Alcott, Little Women tells the story of the March sisters growing up in New England during the Civil War.

                                                         Credit: (Pinterest)

Next on my list is a more recent book, Me Before You by JoJo Moyes. A British author, Moyes deals with the issues of euthanasia/right to die by framing it as a sweet and endearing story of a man and woman brought together by unfortunate circumstances. If you don't cry, well, you've got a heart of stone. Sorry boutcha.

                                                         Credit: (Pinterest)

Any list that doesn't include Tina Fey's Bossypants is really no list at all, I say.

                                                            Credit: (Pinterest)

JD Salinger's Franny and Zooey is such a love of mine that I actually carry it around in my purse. Two interrelated stories about a brother and sister, they were first published in book form in the early '60s and have been winning readers' hearts ever since.

                                                                Credit: (Pinterest)

And last on my list, but certainly never least, is Katharine Hepburn's 1991 autobiography, Me:Stories of My Life. One of the very few books I always come back to. The ultimate female powerhouse.

                                                               Credit: (Pinterest)

Like I said above, this list could go on for days and days. A few more that I think will ultimately make it onto this list and I want to run out and buy copies for everyone: Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham, anything by Caitlin Moran, Amy Poehler's new upcoming book, Yes Please, Robert Galbraith (aka JK Rowling)'s The Cuckoo's Calling and The Silkworm, Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Charlene Bauer's Frances and Bernard, Amor Towles' Rules of Civility and Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter.

Happy reading! :)

On Wednesdays Millennials Wear Pink

I hope you all have your best pink on today! It's a rule? Mean Girls, you are the best.

I keep seeing articles and hearing people talk about 'millennials.' For anyone unaware, a millennial is described as a person born between the early 1980's and the early 2000's. No one really has set years. So, by deduction, I would be described as a millennial, having been born in 1985. Can we talk about this, please? I want to knock down some stereotypes once and for all. 

                                                         Credit: (Pinterest)

Let's start off with the basic idea that millennials are people too. We work hard, we fight for what we want, we know (semi, kind of) what we want our life to be. And as for the part of this time that I grew up in, the beginnings of social media didn't even begin to take hold until I was in college. I went outside and played, rode my bike, roller skated (YES, ROLLER SKATED. WHAT UP, SKATE CORRAL?). I will agree that social media is a very intregal and important aspect of society today. Promoting a business, a television show, a book, what have you, will always get out to the masses better via social media (whether that be through a blog, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, etc.). However, just because a large part of my generation benefits from social media and what it offers, does not mean we're uneducated, terrible people who are entitled dicks.

I just want to wash away this stigma that just because we were born in a different decade, doesn't make us any less human. We have feelings too, you know. So, when you take time out of your day to throw shade at a certain demographic because you don't like what their generation means, I've got news for you --- everyone gets crotchety with the generations that come after them. Also, you raised us. So, chew on that. Sure, 'selfie' and 'duckface' have become part of our lexicon and the music may lend itself a little more to shaking your ass, but it's how this generation expresses themselves. And to deprive anyone of their need for self-expression is to be a real asshole. Maybe it's not the bellbottoms and poodle skirts of generations before (which, correct me if I'm wrong, also caused stern disapproval from those who came before), but it's how people choose to live. 

I'll be the first to admit that you can throw me into that 'crotchety' group, because there are some parts of people now that literally make me stop and say "WHAT. THE. FUCK." But, these are also the kids who don't know a life without social media. I do. (Clearly, I'm trying to make myself sound like Laura Ingalls Wilder here). This is how they grew up and what they know. Who's to say one of those duckface pictures on your Facebook newsfeed won't grow up and find the cure for cancer? Or grow up and write the next American novel?

Let's all take a little less time demeaning the generations that become before and after and just be cool, man. I'll try and calm my grandma attitude, and maybe everyone can realize that millennials can and will change the world. Peace and love. 

My Patronus is a Bookworm Monday: The Chaperone by Laura Moriarty

Happy Monday! And thank you to all who were so kind about Friday's post. It makes me incredibly happy to have such great people in my life! Your words meant so much and showed me that this was just the kick in the pants I needed.

Today, I want to get back into what I made this blog for. It will become an amalgamation of all things I love and that obviously includes my love of reading. So many people ask me what books I suggest since I hardly make it 24 hours after finishing one book before starting another. Last night, I think I made it 3 minutes. Look, reading is my jam, alright?

Yesterday I finished The Chaperone by Laura Moriarty and I LOVED it. The Chaperone tells the story of Cora Carlisle (based on real life Alice Mills), who accompanies then unknown film star, Louise Brooks to NYC, during the summer of 1922. While the book touches on Louise Brooks' rise and subsequent fall from Hollywood It Girl, its main focus lies on the story of Cora Carlisle. While I don't want to give too much away, it's an interesting take on life in the early part of the 20th century and latter part of the 19th century and gave me pause to think about the way life must have been for so many.

                                                      Credit: (Pinterest)

Also, can we talk about how GORGEOUS Louise Brooks was? What a feisty broad. I love it. I love it when books encourage the reader to be more in depth about learning about real life characters. I need to pick up Brooks' autobiography, Lulu Forever, immediately. Also, that coat needs to get in my closet NOW. That whole look does, actually. I feel in a former life I was a flapper in the '20s. What a delight that would be. Though, Prohibition sure would put a damper on things. Bathtub gin for all! That's the title of my new book?

Even if you don't pick this book up, I hope it encourages you to pick something up and learn more about it (women in the 19th century, accordians, armadilloes, what have you). Happy Reading!

Truth Bomb Friday

Happy Friday, kittens! Finally made it to the end of the week! Pour yourself some wine (in a few hours, unless drinking at 11:30 AM is your thing, NO JUDGMENT). Today's post is going to be a bit more on the 'shit happens' side. I'm not writing about it to garner sympathy by any means, I'm writing about it because writing tends to help me process things and I want to prove to myself that the attitude to get where I want to be is in me.

For the last 5 years, I had been working as a legal assistant. It was something I had fallen into, not what I went to school for. I figured I would do it for a year or two while looking for what truly made me happy. Well, cut to 5 years later, still doing the same thing. It had become an issue of safety and routine. Because, Jesus Howard Christ, if I don't love me some routine. But, I realized it had gotten stale. I just didn't have the drive to do anything about it. Cut to Monday afternoon, when I lost my job. I allowed myself to be upset about it for a day or so, because even when you do expect things, they still sometimes have a tendency to come as a shock. 

After that day or two of being upset, I realized, this was probably one of the best things that could happen. It's not what drives me, I don't have a passion for it, so why be so down in the dumps? While I worked with wonderful people, it didn't get me up every morning with a go-getter attitude. Now, I can look for a real, honest to goodness career. I can look for something that makes me happy and I have a passion for (wine taster?). 

Things don't always happen in the way that we expect them too, and I'm slowly learning that that's alright. There's a small part of me that's embarrassed I'll turn up for my high school reunion next month with the job title of "unemployed," but I'll just dazzle with my wit and charm. That works, right? This will allow me to write more, to dig deeper into the creative side that has laid dormant for so long. I'm looking forward to pursuing not just a job, but a career, a life, a passion. Also, drinking wine at noon tends to help as well. 

Just remember, things happen that we have absolutely no control over. But, that doesn't necessarily mean it's for the worst. Sometimes blessings and great things are packaged as bad things or "Shiiiiit man, really?" things. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, dig down deep to find your inner warrior and live the life you want for yourself. It's actually not so bad.

Lady Friend Thursday: Lena Dunham

Happy Thursday, muffins! Hope you're all staying dry. Today, we're going to start getting back slowly into what I made this blog for. While there will still be personal posts, I also want to get back to the root of why I do this (celebrating women, talking about books, dream destinations, etc). In celebration of the release of her book, Not That Kind Of Girl, today's spotlight is on Lena Dunham.

At 28 years old, Lena Dunham has had a career that most people three times her age envy. Currently in its 4th season, her HBO show, Girls, has created a worldwide phenomenon. Described as a "Sex and the City for millenials," it has everyone deciding if they're a Jessa, Hannah, Marnie, or Shoshanna. (I think I tend to be a bit of a mix of Marnie and Shoshanna, personally). 

She celebrates and champions women in a way that I admire so much. Not all women agree with each other, or agree with the ways other women live their lives (I know I've been there), but we all are in this together. It's a sisterhood, that no man on earth understands. To me, Lena makes it okay to be happy with the body I have and not let anyone tear me down because of it. 

Celebrate your lady friends today and every day! And I would be remiss if I didn't wish one of my favorite lady friends, Abigail LouEllen Imogene Kerkhoff, a very happy 31st birthday today! May you have all of the bedazzled denim jumpsuits in the world!

New Month, New Goals

Happy October, unicorns! Is everyone ready for the onslaught of pumpkin everything, changing leaves and cooler temps? I know I am. After September, it's my favorite month of the year.

The past few days have given me pause to figure out what it is I really want to do in life and where I want to go. It's an uphill battle for sure, but one I am quite confident I can navigate to the best of my abilities. It's hard to figure out where to go when life turns on its head, but it also gives you the opportunity for some soul searching and digging deep to find your passions in life. Landing on my feet is something I have every belief will happen.

Also, I started my morning today with a 3.5 mile walk. Does that mean I can end my day with 3.5 glasses of wine? Here's photographic evidence, for those that know my exercise regimen usually just includes the lifting of a wine glass.

You'll notice I look 6 seconds away from dying as this was the end of our jaunt. Well, at least I haven't died and my legs are starting to regain feeling. And we all wonder why I'm not Alice Athletic. 

Hoping you all have a great start to the month and treat yourself to a Pumpkin Spice Latte and Gilmore Girls on Netflix! Also, Lena Dunham's new book came out yesterday-- PICK IT UP AND READ IT. I get very capsy when I'm excited. Tomorrow, our Lady Friend day will focus on her!