A "Could I Write A Book" Test Post....

I'm not even going to apologize. I'll just say you are all beautiful and that color looks divine on you.

I go back and forth every day about whether to post, whether I have anything of substance to say. But, I have to say, these last few months, I've actually had quite a few people tell me they think I should write a book. It's always been something that's been in the back of my mind. I mean, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think I'm pretty decently funny. Well, I make myself laugh. To have people that I haven't seen in years, inbox me on Facebook to tell me they think I'm hilarious? I'm sorry -- but my 14 year old self is basically doing the happiest of dances.

These last few months, being jobless, have been ROUGH (What a segue, huh? I have totally got this book thing nailed!). So, I do what I always do when I get nervous, make uncomfortable jokes while downing a cheap box of wine. GLASS. I MEANT GLASS. Which, while not only therapeutic, has also given me a foundation for a book (which will also have 87 chapters on "DON'T EVER DATE A DUDE WHO WEARS THE HOOD OF HIS HOODIE ON HIS HEAD THE ENTIRE DINNER." Look, it's just a very important lesson). I'll probably also go into the importance of having a song that really lights your fire. For example, mine is the 1981 Carl Carlton classic "She's A Bad Mama Jama."

We all just need to realize life just doesn't mess around sometimes. I'd even go so far as to say it's a bitch, but look, I just don't need that karma. Also, when did "Do you have a boyfriend?" become "Are you married?" I'm sorry ---- WHAT? My idea of cooking is putting a bag of popcorn in the microwave, what makes you think I'm ready to devote THE REST OF MY LIFE to the love and caring of someone? I cannot even make that kind of devotion to a People magazine subscription at this current time of my life. Please check yourself before you wreck yourself. And can we stop on the dating website suggestions? I really don't want to end up in the back of some dude's trunk. Which, I'm sure is not as real of a worry as I'm making it, but I have seen Dateline, you guys. I HAVE SEEN IT.

I just wish more people understood that at 29, you can be single and happy. Look, I fixed a kitchen cabinet today ALL BY MYSELF. Which, honestly...I'm going to be dining out on that for a long time. Your life goals don't have to look like everyone else's. I just want to be able to have money in the bank to pay my bills and surround myself with people who don't use their menus as coasters. Which may just be the title of this book, "People Who Use Their Menus as Coasters ARE THE WORST: A Sequel to Catcher In The Rye." Nailed it.