2015 Resolutions/Goals/Ideas, etc.

The last few days of any year are usually cause for some reflection; a look back on the preceding year, how it changed you, the hurdles you overcame, the laughter you shared. What also strikes me as interesting is the amount of people on social media proclaiming that taking to Facebook, Instagram, what have you, to put down other people for explaining how they want to grow in the coming year. Why do you take time out of your day to tell others how to convey their feelings about a new year? Maybe their resolution to eat less McDonald's won't last very long, maybe it will. Maybe their desire to spend more time with family will just culminate in World War 3, but we don't know that, and to vocalize on a social media platform that people SHOULDN'T do that, is ridiculous.

Let people facing a new year (so, ALL OF US), handle it how they choose. If that means making a list of resolutions, than you do you! If that means going out and volunteering, than holler! Also, can we talk about the good deeds that take place and than people IMMEDIATELY take to social media to proclaim how good of a person they are for doing said deed? Look, it's wonderful that people are kind and wonderful, with so much love in their heart. But, when you have to take to social media to brag about how great of a person you are, it takes they selflessness right out of it. If you're really such a great person, do the deed and than shut up. Go about your day. Pay it forward some more. Stop looking for validation. The only validation that matters is your own. Did doing what you did make you happy? Great! It should have. Let that be your reward. Not comments from people praising you that, let's be honest, you probably haven't talked to since 1987.

2014 was a roller coaster of a year, professionally, as I've mentioned before. It's been a kick in the pants and allowed me to fall flat on my face with no sense of direction. I'm very much looking forward to 2015 and what it may bring. Also, the year I turn 30? Hashtag....say whaaaaat?

I want to be better about a lot of things in the coming year:

-- I want to have more girlfriend time and wine dates with the women that I'm lucky enough to call friends. Especially the last few months, I've found myself getting closer with females that I've known for a long time, but never spent a ton of time with. I'm very much looking forward to rectifying that in the coming year and spending time with like minded, intelligent and love filled women.
--I want to get myself to London.
-- I want to do more reading.
-- More saying yes to things!
-- No more pressure put on myself to be somewhere in my life that I'm not meant to be yet.
--Attempt to cut down on usage of the F bomb, but realize that will probably never happen.
-- And while I have no desire yet to have a ring on my finger, I want to be around men with ambition. With wit. With intelligence. Men who challenge me in good ways and don't leave me crying by their drunken words (Trust me, I'll be very glad to put 20 something Tara behind me and make way for the badass woman that 30 something Tara will be). Assholes are constants in the population, you just have to blaze your own way and not listen to their bullshit.

I'll leave you with my most favorite quote to end a year. Cheers to a wonderful and love filled 2015! See you on the other side! :)

End of the Year Wrap Up

As 2014 winds down, and we start to gear up for 2015, I just want to use this platform to tell everyone who reads this little ol' blog, how grateful and over the moon I am that you are part of my life. 2014 has been such a roller coaster, professionally speaking, and as it comes to a close, I've realized that I'm not the same person at the end of it as I was at the beginning. For that, I could not be more thankful.

I've become more comfortable in my own skin, I've started to not be afraid to tell people "no thanks," which is a very big deal for me, I've become closer to people that 10 years ago, I wouldn't have imagined. To everyone that tells me how much they enjoy this little section of the Internet, please know that you fill my heart with such joy and happiness. I really am an incredibly lucky lady to have the people in my life that I do and that enjoy reading what I enjoy writing. I'm hoping 2015 will bring about more of the same and I cannot wait to see what it has in store for me.

I'm not sure how much more I'll post in 2014, but rest assured, I will be back with a vengeance in the new year! If you're reading this -- I think you're the cat's pajamas and a beautiful human being with so much to offer this world.

All my love for a wonderful, love and laughter filled 2015.

Social Media's Takeover

Like all things, there are good points and bad points with social media. It has become such a prevalent part of our society, that mere minutes cannot go by without someone checking their Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, what have you, while in the company of others. I'm incredibly guilty of it and am trying to slim down on the amount of time I spend on there. And when I am on there, I try to bring about some levity. I want to be funny and ridiculous, because honestly, that's what makes me feel the most comfortable and what makes me feel good.

The last few weeks and months especially have been very hard to get a grasp on, as Americans, and really, as human beings. I've tried to keep my mouth shut as often as I can, and scroll through. Some days it has taken all of my strength. Some days, I've reached for the wine bottle. What is going on not just domestically, but globally, is a tough pill to swallow and incredibly scary. I get on social media to be entertained, to laugh, to be educated, to see how friends are that I'm not able to keep up with as often as I'd like. I am not on social media to be bombarded by racism, sexism, ageism, any other kind of -ism that makes me want to punch people in the throat.

I understand that everyone's opinions are their own and they are entitled to them. Absolutely. It's just difficult when you get on social media expecting to see cat videos or a funny picture of your friends, and instead hatred is all you see. The worst and most vile words spoken against every type of person. Fighting hate with more hate. It's heartbreaking. Social media is meant to bring people closer, not tear them apart.

Especially the last few days, when I want to take a picture of something or someone, in my head I've started asking myself "why are you putting a camera in front of your face? Enjoy the moment." There are many moments that call for being captured on film, phone, beaming into the eyesockets of the future I'm sure we can all look forward to (watching too much Jetsons? Sorry). Then, there are many moments and feelings and surroundings, that you should put down your phone and experience as a human being; relishing in how small you really are and how big this planet is. It always baffles my mind every time when I see people on vacation (and especially those on their honeymoon), who can't seem to put their phone down long enough to enjoy it. When pictures are being posted every 10 minutes of how much fun your vacation is. Obviously it's not, if you're on social media 98% of the time. It's almost as if you need to prove a point or to make others jealous, when really, you just need to be enjoying yourself and the company of the people you're with.

Social media is a wonderful thing. I enjoy it and know that it does wonders for restoring friendships, families, finding a laugh when you're having a terrible day, the list goes on. Just don't rely on it as your sole source of news, entertainment, what have you. Take it for what it is, and keep to your diary for the really salacious stuff that I seriously cannot believe people put on the Internet.

                                                           Credit: (Pinterest)

Hi, I'm A Pollyanna

The last 6 months to a year has been a real growing experience for me. I've learned that the people I surround myself with needed to change; I learned that what I think about me is light years more important than what you think of me (unless you're family or close friends). It's still an ongoing process, I don't think you wake up one day and all of a sudden are this positive, determined, badass who knows how to take on the world. It's something you take day by day. And quite honestly, since I began taking Paxil earlier this year, it has made such a world of difference. I don't find myself coming home and sobbing because I'm not in the same place in my life that others are. I don't find myself freaking out over THE TINIEST THINGS. I've learned to relax, come out of my shell a bit more and just embrace life a bit more than I had.

The last few days especially have done such wonders for my heart and soul. Being around people that are so non judgmental, intelligent, witty, hilarious and kind make me feel incredibly lucky. I know I preach so much about surrounding yourself with positivity and owning yourself, but I guess I never realized how important that actually is/was until these last few days/weeks. I realize this might be construed as a very Pollyanna post, but you can deal with. Exuding happiness and positivity has been what seems to do the trick. Funny how that works out. Also, wine helps. A LOT. 

My 20's have been an absolute roller coaster both professionally and personally, and I can't say I'm terribly to see them go next year (WHAT??? NEXT YEAR?). I'm actually really looking forward to my 30's because I think I've finally got it right. I think I have found the best people to surround myself with, the best mindset to go forward (there is lots to be said for the whole "GFY" mentality), the best way to express myself instead of biting my tongue or hiding behind someone else's words. 

Now, if someone could just tell me how to go about finding the perfect British husband, I'd be ever so grateful. ;) Back tomorrow with LadyFriend Friday! 

Made it through my 10 year!

Being on the other side of your 10 year high school reunion is so much more of a relief than the days and weeks leading up to it. Can I tell you a secret? I may have, MAY HAVE, given myself a pep talk before walking out the door last night. Whatever, we all do it. Right? Bueller? Bueller? I was incredibly anxiety ridden to walk in, jobless and single at 29. Though, those were my own insecurities and me being in my head. It was wonderful to see everyone, catch up and not feel like I did at 15 -- lame, inadequate and gawky. There were moments of fear, but the Bud Light and laughter helped that dissipate rather quickly.

(Beth and I are party animals)

I felt like an adult. I felt happy and included and respected and it was such a wonderful and great feeling. Well, most adults dance with the band on stage at the bar everyone goes to after the reunion, right? Great, I thought so. All of that worrying I did was for nothing. Everyone greeted each other with hugs and genuine happiness at seeing each other. 

                                                (The "I love sangria" sign is on point)

I can assure you, if you're ever faltering about whether or not to go to your reunion -- you should. Speaking as someone who's high school experience wasn't rainbows and lollipops, it's totally worth it. Seeing each other as adults, with jobs and spouses and real responsibilities makes such a world of difference. Pepping yourself up and telling yourself that you're not the same person now as you were at 18 helps a lot as well. I'm still totally nerdy and would rather be at home than out, but now I own it. OWN THE HELL OUT OF IT. As long as you're happy with yourself, that's all that really matters. Though it helps that the class of '04 is made up of some fantastic people. #04fosho 

Remember kids, always end your stories/blog posts/letters to the President, with a hashtag. 

Travel Tuesday: Bali, Indonesia

Back with Travel Tuesdays! Because the snow and cold temps are a drag to most of us, though it does come with the territory, let's pretend we're heading to Bali today. I mean, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? LOOK AT IT. LOOK! There's a water slide in the middle of the forest/jungle/lots of trees. :) 

                                                              (Credit: Pinterest)

Located in southeast Asia, Bali is one of 17,000 (!!!) archipelagos in Indonesia, and is known as the "Island of the Gods." On the island of Bali alone, there are over 20,000 temples, which hold twice yearly festivals. Along with the beautiful beaches and volcanic hillsides, Bali maintains delightful year round temps ranging from 68-93 degrees. Hello, lover. HELLO. 

                                                           Credit: (Pinterest)

The above image is of the Viceroy Bali, and I think we can all agree that we want to go to there. It is a family owned and operated resort located in Bali's Valley of Kings. Dear Future Husband: HONEYMOON ALERT (If I marry a millionaire, which obviously has a great chance of happening). 

Look, I understand this post is all over the place with no real flow to it, but JESUS. I keep pulling up images on Pinterest and hope that magically, I'll look out my window and see the beaches of Bali instead of the snow covered yards of Edwardsville, Illinois. Has anyone talked to Dumbledore about the advent of Apparition in muggles yet? (Yeah, I'm an HP nerd, DEAL). It's the kind of destination that legitimately makes you go "hummina hummina hummina," meaning there just aren't words for its beauty. Lest you think I'm making this up -- LOOK. I'd like to wake up to that gorgeous view every morning, please and thank you. 

So, anyone have a few thousand dollars laying around and want to take me to Bali? I'll be your best friend. Plus, I'm a hoot and a holler on all international vacations. YOU ARE WELCOME. 

Let it Snow.....in November?

Have we ever had snow this early in the season? I'm sure we have and I just don't remember, but Lord Almighty. If it's like this midway through November, what will January look like? STOCK UP ON WINE NOW. I will admit, however, that the very first snowfall of the year has such a peaceful quality to it, and I kind of enjoy it.

                                                                   (My backyard)

I also like that it was a Sunday, so you could stay curled on the couch with Netflix, books and perhaps a glass of wine. I said, PERHAPS! I also, maybe, kind of, put on some Christmas music yesterday while reading. DO NOT JUDGE ME. I'm the type of person that usually doesn't like anything Christmas related until AFTER Thanksgiving, because I love Thanksgiving so much. But, the snow and cold temps messed with my mind, and before I knew it, I was sock sliding in my hallway to some NSYNC "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays," of which I will not be ashamed! You do it too, you know it (Bueller? Bueller?).

I'm going to cherish the above picture now, because I know in just 2 months' time, that smile will be LONG GONE. I fear we're in for another insane and ridiculous winter, so I'm trying to mentally prep myself. Any tips for staying semi-sane during the long winter months? Besides drinking $7 wine and binging some West Wing on Netflix? I'd love to hear!

Happy Monday!

Getting back to DELIGHTFUL

Since I think the last few posts have been focused more on things I either don't have or took maybe a more negative turn than I wanted, I want to get back on track with the "delightful" portion of this blog title! And I want to thank everyone for their kind responses to the last few posts as well, you all are the cat's pajamas and I am so thankful my life is filled with people like you. You make me feel like I'm not alone and that my feelings are valid. Thank you.

Because I've hit a bit of a writer's block today, I took to Pinterest to find some blogging prompts. Today, I thought I'd write about my most favorite childhood memory. I had a wonderful childhood. I have parents who are still together, a family that I adore, and so many ridiculous and funny memories, it was hard to pick one. I was probably around this age, when our story begins. :)

Funnily enough, I don't actually REMEMBER this particular story, but it is top on my list of favorites. I learned how to read at a very early age, which I think is where my voracious nature for books comes from. It was my maternal grandmother who taught me how to read at the age of 2. While in Edwardsville, for a visit of some kind I'm assuming, as we lived in Florida until I was 3, I went with my paternal grandparents to a dinner with some friends of theirs. Reminder, that at this time, I'm probably not quite 3 or so. I think it was Rusty's (man, I miss that place) and I was looking at the menu. While looking at the menu, I asked one of my grandparents what a certain item was and their friend said, astonished, "she can already read?" And my grandmother said, "her grandmother taught her." Already learning my quick comedic timing, I chimed in and said "Not this grandmother, My other grandmother!" It's a favorite story of mine and one that always makes me chuckle. 

I wanted to get back into the fun nature that I intended this blog to be, as the last few posts took a turn for the "woe is me," and that's not me, yo! Well, it is, but that's not all I am. Happy Wednesday, all!

Real Talk...

Happy Monday, all. Hope the start to your week has been fabulous! (As fabulous as a Monday can be, of course). Earlier this week, I started to wonder about what to wear to my upcoming 10 year high school reunion. I was a total nerd in high school -- awkward, gawky, lanky. I still am all of those things of course, now I know how to own it. Honestly? I wouldn't do high school again if you paid me. I had an incredibly hard time there and just don't think I would put myself through that again. This decade of time has allowed me the distance I needed to see myself how I really am and not as some label. It helps that the friends I made there and the 28 and 29 year olds I know everyone to be now, help me and allow me to fall back on the humor that I tended to use as a defense mechanism.

I'll be honest -- there's a part of me that is scared out of my damn mind to walk into that room in 3 weeks and immediately regress to how I was at 15. That I'll feel lame and terrible and judged. Being 29, single and recently jobless is a hard pill to swallow. However, I think that's me in my head (as I am wont to do) and making up these crazy scenarios of shit that will happen. I know that I have grown to be a dependable, funny, intelligent woman (who don't need no man? I'm sorry, that was ridiculous).

Judging from that picture above, I also clearly know how to clean up well. I know that most of what I think is going to happen, won't. The fear helps, as crazy as that sounds. The 15 year old inside of me that still thinks I'm a 4 eyed nerd (which, DUH. I am. I'll own the shit out of that) who no one will ever like, creeps up from time to time. Much like now, when I think about being in a room full of people that I haven't seen since 2004. She doesn't make herself known a lot, usually I can shut her up with some wine and some serious real talk. Because honestly, the only person who thinks that about me now, is me (or Lord Jesus Christ, I hope so. I'M A DAMN DELIGHT). 

Learning how to be at peace and how to own the hell out of myself has allowed me to take steps to the woman I know I am and can be. I know that the people I have talked to now and since don't still see the Tara that I sometimes do, and I am so grateful for that. Seriously, you will never know how grateful. Now, I think I can walk in, with my head held high and own that room like I was born to. Or, I'll just head straight for the bar. Either one has a likelihood to happen. :)

                                                       (What I decided on wearing to my reunion). 

Losing Your Job Doesn't Mean Losing Yourself

I worry that the title of this post is a bit self-helpy, but let's all suck it up and deal with it. As many people know, I lost my job at the end of September. While I knew it was coming by the end of the year (as the work just wasn't coming in), it still rattled me. I'll tell you a secret -- when you lose your job, whether you were expecting it or not, it makes you feel like you failed. Like life had given you this test and than did a "Ninner ninner ninner! You suck!" right in your face. It was a wake up call that getting too comfortable in any one place is not an option.

I had worked as a legal assistant since the fall of 2009. It was something I had just fallen into, not my dream job by any stretch of the imagination. But, it paid the bills and bought me books, so I stayed with it. About a year and a half ago or so, the desire to get out started making itself known. I searched for jobs, in fields that I went to school for. With a BA in English and minor in Women's Studies, the pickings were slim. While many people think publishing is a dying art, I like to think that it's just reinventing itself. So many people ask, "What can you do with an English degree?" Well, you can do pretty much anything with one --- outside of cutting people open and you know, sending people to jail. Also, I couldn't be a mathematician. Numbers are the devil.

Losing your job allows you to really dig deep and figure out, okay--what do I really want to do? What speaks to me? What gets me up in the morning? Not many people are lucky enough to have their dream job, and I'm aware that settling for something right now that pays the bills is my best option, until Tom Hiddleston comes to whisk me away to London and a life of tea and cricket for the rest of my days. (Apparently, I think England is just a constant Dickens novel). 

Surprisingly, I've been able to maintain a positive attitude with everything. There have been days where I feel like I failed. Days where I feel worthless and like I'm not a productive, contributing member of society. But, those days are few and far between. Things happen for a reason. The right job for me is out there, I just need to find it. Maybe it isn't around here -- maybe it's in New York, or Chicago, Boston or Timbuktu. My point is, if you find yourself at a crossroads, the important thing is to maintain a sense of who you are. You know your worth, your skills, your drive and ambition. Don't let shit weigh you down. And look, it's hard out there. It SUCKS. Massively. Royally. But, this did get me out of my comfort zone and routine, and I'm surprisingly grateful for it. Who knows how much longer I would have stayed had I not been let go. I would have gotten increasingly unhappier by the day and no one likes a sad sack Sally. 

Also, does anyone know --- including a Glamour Shot with your resume works, right? Early '90s style? Great, I thought so. And also telling them how witty and charming I am works as well? Whew. Than my resume is ready to go! ;) 

Insert Witty Title Here.

I cannot tell you how many people ask me on a near daily basis, "Well, what kind of man are you looking for?" like that is the sole purpose of my day; hunting down and finding me a man! Look, men are great. I love men! I've grown up surrounded by strong, honest, hard working men and think I can spot a good one when I see one (though 22 year old Tara might laugh in my face at that one). And while I joke about being whisked away to London by a charming Brit (and by joke, I mean PRAY), I'll tell you just exactly what it is I'm looking for, in case you happen to have a spare man laying around. 

Intelligence is number one. Hands down, no questions asked. He doesn't need to have graduated from Harvard, but a good working understanding of current events is always very sexy. I also tend to be a very sarcastic person. My sense of humor tends to run a bit on the drier side, and banter has always been a crutch for me. If I can go back and forth with you and you can throw it back, you are a damn delight (this not only goes for men, but everyone in my life. It's how I communicate). I've actually had men call me a bitch before, because my teasing was apparently too much for them to handle. Buh bye, you ball-less wonder. (Sorry, is that rude?). 

It basically just comes down to this: Don't be a dick. Have a good relationship with your family. Respect women. Don't wear newsboy caps. Don't wear socks with sandals. Believe in something, REALLY believe in something. Be funny. Go toe to toe with me, don't let the fight go out of you. Be a good tipper. Be kind. Read. When you wear a nice sweater and jeans, don't wear sneakers with it (I mean, Jesus Howard Christ). Don't use your menu as a coaster. For the love of God, don't let a 110 pound white girl school you in who Troy Polamalu is (I revoke your man card on that one). Love kids. Be interested (in anything; art, life, science, literature, music, sports, etc.). Have a sense of wanderlust. Above all, just think I'm a pretty damn great catch and you are one lucky son of a bitch. Because I am and you will be. 

                                                               (What I wear on dates)

Skinny Chicks Have Feelings Too.

It's interesting what people think is okay to say to people they've never met before. I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but I'm a thin lady. And until about a year ago, that bothered the hell out of me. All kinds of comments were and have been said to me: "Hey, why don't you eat a burger!" and other hilarious and witty remarks like that are so clearly so clever that I've never heard them before!

                                                            (Before the 2013 Color Run)

What people don't seem to understand is that when you tear someone down because of their smaller size, you do the same damage as you do when you tear someone down because of their bigger size. The same feelings get hurt. I have torn myself apart over random comments people have said, in the guise of "being funny." No, you're not being funny. You're telling yourself that to make yourself feel better, so you push to the side the fact that you're being a dick. You think I don't know that I'm thin? Do you think it's news to me? No, it's not. And it has taken me YEARS to be comfortable with myself. It even would get to the point where I would be afraid to wear a dress or skirt or even shorts, because people would make the most ludicrous comments.

I realize I have skinny chicken legs, and small tits. I realize that my body may not be for everyone. But, it's MY BODY. I love it, it has served me well, and I've never once had a complaint when it mattered. So, suck it. It has taken quite a long time for me to gain the confidence I do have, and I'm not about to let it be usurped by anybody.

Also, let's talk about the phrase "Real Women Have Curves," for a second. LET'S TALK ABOUT IT. Because, Jesus Howard Christ. I call bullshit. Just total, absolute BULLSHIT. Are you trying to tell me that because I tend to run a bit more up and down, that I'm not a real woman? Uh. My vagina would tell you otherwise, I believe. The cramps I get 4 days out of the month would tell you otherwise. Stop putting down segments of the female population. We are all in this together. Women need to stand together and stop tearing each other down with bogus sentiments like this. I am a real woman, damn it. I'm strong, I'm confident, and I'm not about to be torn down by insecure people who feel that they have something to prove.

I always preach owning the hell out of who you are, because it is so damn important. Especially in this age of filtered Instagram shots, cyber bullying and PhotoShop. Be you. Be proud to be in the skin you're in, the body you're in. You only get one.

                                                          (Owning the hell out my skinny legs)

Staying Audrey in a Kardashian World

Ever since I can remember, I have been in awe of Audrey Hepburn; her movies, the way she carried herself, her work with UNICEF. To me, she has always been the epitome of class, elegance and glamour. I even have a large portrait of her in my den, to remind me that class always takes you farther.

In the way I talk and especially in the way I dress, I tend to be a bit more pared down. The influence of the Kardashian family in popular culture, to me anyways, is just sad. Look, I'm not about to tear another woman down for expressing herself in the way that she sees fit, or for the life that she chooses to lead, but I will express my discomfort. The only skin I tend to show is some shoulder, when the sweater I'm wearing is off the shoulder, or some leg when I wear a dress or skirt. I'm not really into the whole "look at me, my tits are enormous!" way of dressing that seems to have permeated society. 

The Kardashians are EVERYWHERE, and I understand that it's hard to get away from. However, I've always been under the impression that tact and class is what's going to take you farther in life, not looking like a walking billboard for "I Took Scissors To All My Clothes, Inc." (Ok, sorry. That was a little rude). 

The point I'm really trying to make here, is that young girls especially have so many options as to role models. They are lucky enough to be growing up in the age of Malala, of M'one, of Emma, of Amy, Tina and Beyonce. Women who work hard, women who fight tirelessly on behalf of women everywhere, women who know the hard work and struggles it takes to defy sexist attitudes. Women, who I think, have stayed Audrey in a Kardashian world. They let their ideas, their words, speak for themselves. It's not just about dressing like Audrey, it's carrying yourself like a lady. Like a woman. Look, I'm all about chugging the wine and letting the f -bombs fly because something has angered me, but I'm also about carrying yourself to the level of respect that you want to be shown to you. 

Standing up for causes and fights that you believe in, is such an integral part of society and us, as humans. I just want to convey that our voices can be heard, our ideas known, without turning into some fantasy of what real women look like. Again, I don't want to tear any woman down, because that defeats the purpose of what I, myself, believe in. We, as women, need to stand together. The Kardashians clearly have a formula that works for them. It just doesn't happen to work for me, personally. 

So yes, I'll continue to throw on a sweater and skirt when I run errands, because sometimes it's little things like that, that make me feel better. That make me identify with my femininity and allow me to carry on the Hepburnian tradition. 

Alone Doesn't Mean Lonely

As a single 29 year old, the question of my relationship status comes up far more than one would like. And at this stage of the game, it's not "Do you have a boyfriend?" anymore. It's become, "are you married? Do you have a husband?" WHAAAAATTTT? At what point in time, did the question start to hold a bit more weight? Sweet Jesus. Let a girl breathe. I used to be able to laugh the questions off with a smile and sarcastic comment, and I still do most of the time. However, there is a small part of me that thinks "Why aren't I married?" Then I just feed the girl in me that's asking that question some wine, and it goes away. Because what good does it really do to focus on things that are out of your control? I would absolutely love to be married, don't get me wrong. I have grown up surrounded by strong marriages my entire life and want nothing more than to feel that same love and support.

(Credit: That One Rule)

But, I'm not going to get married for the sake of being married. And honestly, being alone is what works for me right now. Losing my job and kind of getting out of my comfort zone has made a part of me say "HOLY SHIT. What curveballs will life throw me next?" I need to know that Tara can take care of Tara. That, God forbid, if I were to marry and that not pan out, that I know how to take care of myself (though not in the kitchen. I know where the wine is and that's about it). 

And also, I have incredibly high standards. Ones I will NOT apologize for. I've dated men that just don't challenge me, that don't seem to care about me the way that I care about me. Because that's ultimately what matters. Me caring about me. I need to know that I'm worth it. That I'm a damn fine catch. And it has taken me YEAAAARS to learn that. I still am! I'm an intelligent, college educated, hilariously funny, witty, adorable human being (I may be selling myself a little hard there). And I deserve someone that will still be there in the morning when they see the monstrosity that my hair becomes overnight. Someone that will understand that some things scare the shit out of me and I judge myself for that. Someone that knows no, you cannot have any of my shrimp when I order it at a restaurant --GET YOUR OWN, BUCKO. 

And until that man walks into my life, I'm quite content, thank you very much. I am surrounded by wonderful people, and he will only enhance that, not make it better. He will only add to the greatness that I already consider my life to be. 

Instead of asking a woman in her late 20's why she isn't married (because clearly, her life has to be defined by a man), ask her what she does for a living, what she does in her spare time, what books are on her nightstand; define her by how she defines herself. 

Dial M For Manners

At what point in time did manners become obsolete? As someone who takes great pride in the way I was brought up and having manners, I find it incredibly disheartening that the idea of courtesy has seemingly gone by the wayside. Not to say it's gone entirely, but Jesus. A simple "please, thank you, or excuse me" goes very far. I wish more people realized that.

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I've been on dates where the man has not taken the HOOD OF HIS HOODIE OFF OF HIS HEAD (yes, I think that warrants all capital letters). That's not just showing me a blatant disrespect, that's making you like an uneducated buffoon. Some tips: On a date, make it a priority to tell the other person how nice they look (goes both ways, Sister Christian), hold the door open, pull out her chair, DON'T USE YOUR MENU AS A COASTER (Jesus H. Christ, were you raised in a barn?), and engage in conversation that's not one sided. It may turn out you have nothing in common and therefore not much to talk about, but try to refrain from jokes that won't get you a second date.

I realize that not everyone was raised the same way, that's what makes us all different and the delightful people we are! But, you would think common sense would take over at some point. And look, I'm not a mother (to my knowledge), but when your child is saying "Get me that, Mom. Give it to me, Mom. Now." with no utterance of "please" or "thank you," just know that my heart dies a little. It's unfathomable to me how parents give their kids whatever they want, give them phones at 7 years old. Instead of being your kids' parent, many parents are more interested in being their kids' friend, which I'm sorry, causes a generation of entitled dicks. Your kids aren't going to hate you 10 years from now because you didn't buy them that toy. Do yourself and the rest of society a favor and teach your children respect from the get go. 

And look, kids will be kids. Not everything falls to the parents. You can't expect 5 year olds to be perfect little angels all the time. But, you can give them the necessary tools to start them in the right direction.

How far do you expect to get in life if you treat everyone with a rude and cold demeanor? How far do you expect to get by saying "Gimme gimme gimme," instead of "Hey, let's talk this out." Courtesy, to me anyways, is of the utmost importance. "Oh, you're running late for work? Sure, cut ahead of me in line." Courtesy isn't throwing your middle finger up because someone won't let you into traffic (which look, I may be guilty of. MAYBE). Well, I really only throw it up when someone cuts me off. I'm trying to work on my road rage, alright?

Work hard, be a good person, realize a sense of entitlement gets you nowhere, and add more pleases and thank yous to your day. We're all human, we all fuck up, we all have days where we want to give the world the middle finger, but if we exude that kindness to our fellow humans, that kindness will come back tenfold. Promise.

Kindness and Honesty

Today's post is brought to you by the letter 'K.' ;) Sorry for the lapse in posting. I don't have an excuse. Just laziness, I suppose.

I've always considered myself a fairly nice person. Kind and with a tendency to enjoy making people laugh. I think that still rings true (at least I hope it does. JUST LET ME HAVE THIS). And within the last few years, I've learned how to let kindness and honesty co-exist. Not to say I'm not an honest person, but being honest with others about what I really feel. I always would temper my own feelings for the benefit of others, which does absolutely no good. How do you succeed and grow as a person by letting others walk all over you? Sure, it does increase the chance of people getting upset with you and people not agreeing with you; however, I'm doing myself and incredible dissatisfaction.

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I won't apologize for being honest with others and most importantly, myself. What's the damn point? Will I apologize for perhaps being a bit more blunt than I need to be? Sure. Absolutely. But at the end of the day, I know who and what is important to me and that's all I need. Not every person you come across in life is supposed to stay. Hitting 30 in 11 months has allowed me to look at my life as a whole and decide, "Ok. What needs to change? Who isn't serving your life in a positive way?" And I've done what I needed to do about it. Sure, being jobless at 29, when most people my age are established in their careers and have families, is SCARY AS SHIT. But, you know what? It's not a competition. I'm not in a race with everyone. I have absolute faith that everything will work out as it should and the life I want for myself is up ahead (just with a few more obstacles than I figured).

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Also, the above is something I need tattooed on my forehead. Channel your inner DARE student and just say no!

Taking a Look at the 'Basic' White Girl

Look. I'm gonna be honest with you. Pumpkin spice lattes are DELICIOUS. The first time I see advertisements for them, I get so excited, because it marks the arrival of my favorite season. Does that mean I'm a 'basic' white girl? I'll own it. What's wrong with loving pumpkin flavored anything? What's wrong with loving the hell out of something? Also, how come this term only comes out in the fall?

Buzzfeed presented a list, cleverly titled 25 Things All Basic White Girls Do During The Fall. Obviously, Buzzfeed is quite the reputable source for information. If the information you're looking for is random lists on food shaped like celebrities. The bulk of that list is something I know I do. But, honestly, who are you to make me feel bad about it? So, I like taking photos of the changing leaves. HOW DARE I? Maybe I do like my house to smell like a damn pumpkin patch in the autumn months because IT MAKES ME HAPPY.

Yep, that's a photo of my backyard after the heavy rain the other day, because the sun coming through the trees was DELIGHTFUL. Own the hell out of whoever you are. Stop letting sites like BuzzFeed make you feel bad because you love the hell out of some fall. If that makes me "basic," who really cares?

                                           (Me, a month ago, feeding a craving. I was parked at home.)

Also, what is the term 'basic,' really trying to accomplish? Is it just an amalgamation of every white girl? (Yeah, amalgamation--try that on for size, jerks!). It's interesting that this term only has any real traction come fall. The other 9 or 10 months out of the year, it doesn't exist. And how come there are never any 'basic white guy' posts? With frat guys taking pictures of their Keystone Lights and keggers? Because you know that shit exists.

Is it because pictures are put on Instagram or put on other social media platforms that girls get called out? Social media defines this generation. It's how most communication happens, let's not sugarcoat it. Yes, a lot of social media is filled with pictures of Pumpkin Spice Lattes and chunky sweaters and yoga pants. But social media is also used for good, for self-expression, for getting our voices out there and heard. You do you, guys and gals. YOU DO YOU. And the only thing basic about you, is how basically awesome you are.

Bookworm Thursday: My Ultimate Reading List

What a perfect snuggly day! Sometimes we need a good rainy day every once in a while. Perfect for drinking cider, reading, writing and Netflix.

As the voracious reader I am, I get a lot of people asking me what books I recommend. Because there's about 5,765 that I am in love with, I figure I'd try and narrow it down to my ultimate top five (with some bonus ones thrown in).

First on my list is the classic of all classics and my absolute favorite, Little Women. Written by Louisa May Alcott, Little Women tells the story of the March sisters growing up in New England during the Civil War.

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Next on my list is a more recent book, Me Before You by JoJo Moyes. A British author, Moyes deals with the issues of euthanasia/right to die by framing it as a sweet and endearing story of a man and woman brought together by unfortunate circumstances. If you don't cry, well, you've got a heart of stone. Sorry boutcha.

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Any list that doesn't include Tina Fey's Bossypants is really no list at all, I say.

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JD Salinger's Franny and Zooey is such a love of mine that I actually carry it around in my purse. Two interrelated stories about a brother and sister, they were first published in book form in the early '60s and have been winning readers' hearts ever since.

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And last on my list, but certainly never least, is Katharine Hepburn's 1991 autobiography, Me:Stories of My Life. One of the very few books I always come back to. The ultimate female powerhouse.

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Like I said above, this list could go on for days and days. A few more that I think will ultimately make it onto this list and I want to run out and buy copies for everyone: Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham, anything by Caitlin Moran, Amy Poehler's new upcoming book, Yes Please, Robert Galbraith (aka JK Rowling)'s The Cuckoo's Calling and The Silkworm, Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Charlene Bauer's Frances and Bernard, Amor Towles' Rules of Civility and Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter.

Happy reading! :)

On Wednesdays Millennials Wear Pink

I hope you all have your best pink on today! It's a rule? Mean Girls, you are the best.

I keep seeing articles and hearing people talk about 'millennials.' For anyone unaware, a millennial is described as a person born between the early 1980's and the early 2000's. No one really has set years. So, by deduction, I would be described as a millennial, having been born in 1985. Can we talk about this, please? I want to knock down some stereotypes once and for all. 

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Let's start off with the basic idea that millennials are people too. We work hard, we fight for what we want, we know (semi, kind of) what we want our life to be. And as for the part of this time that I grew up in, the beginnings of social media didn't even begin to take hold until I was in college. I went outside and played, rode my bike, roller skated (YES, ROLLER SKATED. WHAT UP, SKATE CORRAL?). I will agree that social media is a very intregal and important aspect of society today. Promoting a business, a television show, a book, what have you, will always get out to the masses better via social media (whether that be through a blog, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, etc.). However, just because a large part of my generation benefits from social media and what it offers, does not mean we're uneducated, terrible people who are entitled dicks.

I just want to wash away this stigma that just because we were born in a different decade, doesn't make us any less human. We have feelings too, you know. So, when you take time out of your day to throw shade at a certain demographic because you don't like what their generation means, I've got news for you --- everyone gets crotchety with the generations that come after them. Also, you raised us. So, chew on that. Sure, 'selfie' and 'duckface' have become part of our lexicon and the music may lend itself a little more to shaking your ass, but it's how this generation expresses themselves. And to deprive anyone of their need for self-expression is to be a real asshole. Maybe it's not the bellbottoms and poodle skirts of generations before (which, correct me if I'm wrong, also caused stern disapproval from those who came before), but it's how people choose to live. 

I'll be the first to admit that you can throw me into that 'crotchety' group, because there are some parts of people now that literally make me stop and say "WHAT. THE. FUCK." But, these are also the kids who don't know a life without social media. I do. (Clearly, I'm trying to make myself sound like Laura Ingalls Wilder here). This is how they grew up and what they know. Who's to say one of those duckface pictures on your Facebook newsfeed won't grow up and find the cure for cancer? Or grow up and write the next American novel?

Let's all take a little less time demeaning the generations that become before and after and just be cool, man. I'll try and calm my grandma attitude, and maybe everyone can realize that millennials can and will change the world. Peace and love. 

My Patronus is a Bookworm Monday: The Chaperone by Laura Moriarty

Happy Monday! And thank you to all who were so kind about Friday's post. It makes me incredibly happy to have such great people in my life! Your words meant so much and showed me that this was just the kick in the pants I needed.

Today, I want to get back into what I made this blog for. It will become an amalgamation of all things I love and that obviously includes my love of reading. So many people ask me what books I suggest since I hardly make it 24 hours after finishing one book before starting another. Last night, I think I made it 3 minutes. Look, reading is my jam, alright?

Yesterday I finished The Chaperone by Laura Moriarty and I LOVED it. The Chaperone tells the story of Cora Carlisle (based on real life Alice Mills), who accompanies then unknown film star, Louise Brooks to NYC, during the summer of 1922. While the book touches on Louise Brooks' rise and subsequent fall from Hollywood It Girl, its main focus lies on the story of Cora Carlisle. While I don't want to give too much away, it's an interesting take on life in the early part of the 20th century and latter part of the 19th century and gave me pause to think about the way life must have been for so many.

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Also, can we talk about how GORGEOUS Louise Brooks was? What a feisty broad. I love it. I love it when books encourage the reader to be more in depth about learning about real life characters. I need to pick up Brooks' autobiography, Lulu Forever, immediately. Also, that coat needs to get in my closet NOW. That whole look does, actually. I feel in a former life I was a flapper in the '20s. What a delight that would be. Though, Prohibition sure would put a damper on things. Bathtub gin for all! That's the title of my new book?

Even if you don't pick this book up, I hope it encourages you to pick something up and learn more about it (women in the 19th century, accordians, armadilloes, what have you). Happy Reading!

Truth Bomb Friday

Happy Friday, kittens! Finally made it to the end of the week! Pour yourself some wine (in a few hours, unless drinking at 11:30 AM is your thing, NO JUDGMENT). Today's post is going to be a bit more on the 'shit happens' side. I'm not writing about it to garner sympathy by any means, I'm writing about it because writing tends to help me process things and I want to prove to myself that the attitude to get where I want to be is in me.

For the last 5 years, I had been working as a legal assistant. It was something I had fallen into, not what I went to school for. I figured I would do it for a year or two while looking for what truly made me happy. Well, cut to 5 years later, still doing the same thing. It had become an issue of safety and routine. Because, Jesus Howard Christ, if I don't love me some routine. But, I realized it had gotten stale. I just didn't have the drive to do anything about it. Cut to Monday afternoon, when I lost my job. I allowed myself to be upset about it for a day or so, because even when you do expect things, they still sometimes have a tendency to come as a shock. 

After that day or two of being upset, I realized, this was probably one of the best things that could happen. It's not what drives me, I don't have a passion for it, so why be so down in the dumps? While I worked with wonderful people, it didn't get me up every morning with a go-getter attitude. Now, I can look for a real, honest to goodness career. I can look for something that makes me happy and I have a passion for (wine taster?). 

Things don't always happen in the way that we expect them too, and I'm slowly learning that that's alright. There's a small part of me that's embarrassed I'll turn up for my high school reunion next month with the job title of "unemployed," but I'll just dazzle with my wit and charm. That works, right? This will allow me to write more, to dig deeper into the creative side that has laid dormant for so long. I'm looking forward to pursuing not just a job, but a career, a life, a passion. Also, drinking wine at noon tends to help as well. 

Just remember, things happen that we have absolutely no control over. But, that doesn't necessarily mean it's for the worst. Sometimes blessings and great things are packaged as bad things or "Shiiiiit man, really?" things. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, dig down deep to find your inner warrior and live the life you want for yourself. It's actually not so bad.

Lady Friend Thursday: Lena Dunham

Happy Thursday, muffins! Hope you're all staying dry. Today, we're going to start getting back slowly into what I made this blog for. While there will still be personal posts, I also want to get back to the root of why I do this (celebrating women, talking about books, dream destinations, etc). In celebration of the release of her book, Not That Kind Of Girl, today's spotlight is on Lena Dunham.

At 28 years old, Lena Dunham has had a career that most people three times her age envy. Currently in its 4th season, her HBO show, Girls, has created a worldwide phenomenon. Described as a "Sex and the City for millenials," it has everyone deciding if they're a Jessa, Hannah, Marnie, or Shoshanna. (I think I tend to be a bit of a mix of Marnie and Shoshanna, personally). 

She celebrates and champions women in a way that I admire so much. Not all women agree with each other, or agree with the ways other women live their lives (I know I've been there), but we all are in this together. It's a sisterhood, that no man on earth understands. To me, Lena makes it okay to be happy with the body I have and not let anyone tear me down because of it. 

Celebrate your lady friends today and every day! And I would be remiss if I didn't wish one of my favorite lady friends, Abigail LouEllen Imogene Kerkhoff, a very happy 31st birthday today! May you have all of the bedazzled denim jumpsuits in the world!

New Month, New Goals

Happy October, unicorns! Is everyone ready for the onslaught of pumpkin everything, changing leaves and cooler temps? I know I am. After September, it's my favorite month of the year.

The past few days have given me pause to figure out what it is I really want to do in life and where I want to go. It's an uphill battle for sure, but one I am quite confident I can navigate to the best of my abilities. It's hard to figure out where to go when life turns on its head, but it also gives you the opportunity for some soul searching and digging deep to find your passions in life. Landing on my feet is something I have every belief will happen.

Also, I started my morning today with a 3.5 mile walk. Does that mean I can end my day with 3.5 glasses of wine? Here's photographic evidence, for those that know my exercise regimen usually just includes the lifting of a wine glass.

You'll notice I look 6 seconds away from dying as this was the end of our jaunt. Well, at least I haven't died and my legs are starting to regain feeling. And we all wonder why I'm not Alice Athletic. 

Hoping you all have a great start to the month and treat yourself to a Pumpkin Spice Latte and Gilmore Girls on Netflix! Also, Lena Dunham's new book came out yesterday-- PICK IT UP AND READ IT. I get very capsy when I'm excited. Tomorrow, our Lady Friend day will focus on her!

She Believed She Could, So She Did.

Happy Tuesday, all! Life, man. Am I right? Sometimes it throws you some curve balls that while you may have been expecting them, still shock for a bit. Precarious times call for reflection and a look into how this will shape who you are and who you will become. This quote has stuck with me the last few days and I've even made it the background on my phone to remind myself that damn it, I'm a tough cookie. I know what I want and how I need to achieve it. Though sometimes, I still feel like this girl:

I think we all have those days from time to time. I've mentioned before that I'm contemplating turning this blog into a book, or somehow compiling a book of essays a la Mindy Kaling and Tina Fey. Who knows, it's just an idea, but an idea that has really taken hold the last month or so. Because, look. 

I found this great challenge on Facebook the other day, about naming 3 people a day and telling them why they're your FB friend and what they mean to you. I thought it was such a great idea and am implementing it to realize how many wonderful people I have in my life, and though monetarily I am no Grace, Princess of Monaco, friend/family wise, I am rich as hell (Stitch that on a pillow!). 

I know the last few posts have been life-based, but we'll start to get back to our traveling, lady friends and literature posts here very soon. Sometimes, girl just needs to vent. 

Just another Manic Monday...

Good morning, loves! Hope you all have had a wonderful weekend and your week is starting off delightfully! My weekend was WONDERFUL. And what beauuuuutiful weather! Had to enjoy it, as I'm sure it will be the last really nice one for a long time. Saturday was the highlight of my weekend, getting to meet Tony Hale at a book signing at Happy Up, Inc. in Edwardsville. Happy Up used to be what many of us remember as Once Upon A Toy and what a FABULOUS store! Take your kids immediately. Or your 29 year old friends.

For those not familiar with his work, he played Buster Bluth on Arrested Development and currently stars on HBO's Veep as Gary Walsh. He could not have been nicer! He did a reading of his new children's book, which I had no problem telling him to make out to me :) No shame!

Yesterday's weather was GORGEOUS. Spent it on the deck with some sunshine, wine and good friends. Love days like that. I'm loving lots of these things these days: getting back to writing, reading plenty, good wine, great friends, learning to stand up for myself, sticking to my guns, and being happy in the moment and not stressing about what's ahead.

Also, I'm toying with the idea of a book. WHAT? I don't know. Something maybe stemming from this blog? Anywho, it's an idea percolating.

Enjoy your Mondays, unicorns. October is coming!