Truth Bombs

You guys, it HAS BEEN A MONDAY. Jesus. Why don't they make margarita trucks? Like ice cream trucks, but for booze. Because I would never leave. Especially after today. But, the day is over and that's all that matters. Time to get ready to face tomorrow :)

I'm about to get super honest with you right now, because I just can't hold it in any longer. Do you ever feel like you're back in middle school? Do you have those days where it seems all the lunch tables are full and you've got to sit by yourself? Because, I gotta say, the last few weeks have felt like that for me. And it's tough. Shockingly enough, I was never the most popular girl in school or the smartest, what have you. I accepted that and was able to move on. It's just so odd to me, at 28, to have those feelings brought up yet again. I always like to think that I'm part of a certain group but than it turns out, I'm just buzzing around the outside, hoping to get in. Last week and this past weekend helped me see that I'm not part of something I thought I was. And the best way to rectify that? Distance. And I honestly can't say I'm that upset about it. I know that I may come across too nerdy/strong/ridiculous/what have you, but I always thought, in the end, friendship would win it (I'm such a damn Pollyanna sometimes, it's ridiculous even to me).

And when it doesn't, that's a tough pill to swallow. When you're not invited places, when you're not thought of, even though the effort has been made on your part, it's a sting that never quite goes away. I've preached a lot about working on myself and getting in tune with what I want, where I want to go, who I want to surround myself, and I've taken those first steps. But, I need people who are going to back me up and be supportive. And I'm dwindling down the people that I choose to surround myself with. Because honestly, I really feel that I can only be my real self around a handful of friends. When I'm laughing my ass off about the difference between Alan Thicke and Alan Rickman with my lady cats or when I'm spending the weekend in Chicago with one of my BFFs from EIU making jokes about the Golden Girls and Donna Martin, that's when I feel my most authentic self. Around strong women who make me laugh and allow me to be myself.

Not everyone currently in your life is going to be there 45 years from now, but luckily enough, I think I've managed to find a few who will tell me to invest in a good caftan, a strong drink and channel my inner Sophia Petrillo. Hopefully you've done the same.

                                                      Credit: ( Pinterest)