Alone Doesn't Mean Lonely

As a single 29 year old, the question of my relationship status comes up far more than one would like. And at this stage of the game, it's not "Do you have a boyfriend?" anymore. It's become, "are you married? Do you have a husband?" WHAAAAATTTT? At what point in time, did the question start to hold a bit more weight? Sweet Jesus. Let a girl breathe. I used to be able to laugh the questions off with a smile and sarcastic comment, and I still do most of the time. However, there is a small part of me that thinks "Why aren't I married?" Then I just feed the girl in me that's asking that question some wine, and it goes away. Because what good does it really do to focus on things that are out of your control? I would absolutely love to be married, don't get me wrong. I have grown up surrounded by strong marriages my entire life and want nothing more than to feel that same love and support.

(Credit: That One Rule)

But, I'm not going to get married for the sake of being married. And honestly, being alone is what works for me right now. Losing my job and kind of getting out of my comfort zone has made a part of me say "HOLY SHIT. What curveballs will life throw me next?" I need to know that Tara can take care of Tara. That, God forbid, if I were to marry and that not pan out, that I know how to take care of myself (though not in the kitchen. I know where the wine is and that's about it). 

And also, I have incredibly high standards. Ones I will NOT apologize for. I've dated men that just don't challenge me, that don't seem to care about me the way that I care about me. Because that's ultimately what matters. Me caring about me. I need to know that I'm worth it. That I'm a damn fine catch. And it has taken me YEAAAARS to learn that. I still am! I'm an intelligent, college educated, hilariously funny, witty, adorable human being (I may be selling myself a little hard there). And I deserve someone that will still be there in the morning when they see the monstrosity that my hair becomes overnight. Someone that will understand that some things scare the shit out of me and I judge myself for that. Someone that knows no, you cannot have any of my shrimp when I order it at a restaurant --GET YOUR OWN, BUCKO. 

And until that man walks into my life, I'm quite content, thank you very much. I am surrounded by wonderful people, and he will only enhance that, not make it better. He will only add to the greatness that I already consider my life to be. 

Instead of asking a woman in her late 20's why she isn't married (because clearly, her life has to be defined by a man), ask her what she does for a living, what she does in her spare time, what books are on her nightstand; define her by how she defines herself.