Not Going to Apologize

Happy first official day of autumn, guys! I like saying 'autumn,' sounds cozier. I'm weird, alright. We've all known that for awhile now.

Anywho (I also like saying 'anywho,' because I'm your 54 year old aunt who's about to tell a story you don't want to hear), at the start of 2014, I went into the year with all kinds of expectations. But, those expectations never really pan out, do they? I wanted to be in a different job, in the field I went to school for, I wanted to be in a relationship with a man who wasn't emotionally stunted, I wanted lots of things. And at first, when none of those things were coming to fruition, I got upset. But, as the year has gone on and I've gotten more to a place of being okay with who and where I am, it started to not bother me as much.

I'm where I should be,  I've got the people I want around me and I won't apologize for living my life on my terms. Cutting out the toxic and the negative is something that's necessary sometimes. Like I've said in previous posts, I only wish good things for all those who have passed through my life. I don't wish negative energy on anybody. But, we weren't meant to be on each other's journeys forever.

I've learned lately, that saying no is okay. No is a complete sentence. I don't need to explain myself at all. I've learned that humor is something I rely heavily on and it has brought me closer to a lot of people. I will never apologize for that. I will never apologize for my rants, for my goofiness, for my inability to pass up a good pun. Because I'm sorry, this shirt? HILARIOUS.

It's taken me a very long time to be comfortable in my skin and be confident in who I am, and I'll be damned if anyone takes that away from me. I know people think I can't be such a Positive Polly all of the time, and they'd be right. I'm not. Quite often, I'm a Debbie Downer, a Negative Nancy, a Bitchy Brenda. But, I try to make those days few and far between. I try and make those times only when I'm in the solace of my own home.

I am so grateful to everyone who reads these words and has surrounded me with such kindness. You make my heart swell and I am so lucky to have you in my life. I'm so glad that my ridiculousness can bring you some small bit of happiness, it really does brighten my day to brighten yours. Does that sound arrogant and indulgent? UGH. I'm sorry if it does. That's not my intention. My only intention is to introduce you to fierce women, my terrible jokes and my reading list that's 2,987 miles long (an accurate assessment).

You are all beautiful, fierce, strong, intelligent, kind human beings and here's looking at you, kid (I'm a Bogart impersonator in my free time?).